06 Jun Toxic Partners Lead to Crazy Breakups
Breaking up is hard to do. Well, until you get fed up!
Over the years, I have seen a lot of broken couples in my divorce and child custody practice. I learn a lot about a couple when I listen to my client’s story, examine text message and email exchanges, and observe or listen to the ex-partner in court.
All of my clients think that they have had the worst experience as they are telling me what led the to the demise of their relationship Most will say, in a slightly embarrassed way, “I know this sounds crazy.” I reassure them that it doesn’t sound crazy and a lot of people go through the same thing they are going through.
The End Can Mark A New Beginning
The end can mark a new beginning…and for some, not in a good way.
When two people are not getting along they can easily bring out the worst in each other and to the point of being toxic. Some of these toxic behaviors include:
- Not owning up to your part of the demise of the relationship. It takes two to tango. Usually you are both at fault.
- Being overly critical. No one likes to hear negative comments about themselves all the time.
- Saying intentionally hurtful things out of anger or frustration. It is normal and reasonable to get angry and frustrated with people in our lives that we care about, but that doesn’t give you the right to take it out on your partner. Once you say it, you can’t take it back.
- Talking negatively about your partner behind their back. Damaging your partner’s image is hurtful and can have long-lasting effects.
- Refusing to work out problems. It takes two people to keep a relationship together. If one of the two won’t talk about issues of concern, or gets defensive instead of focusing on problem-solving, resentment and bitterness build up.
- Jumping to negative conclusions. This can lead to misunderstandings and an escalation other toxic behavior.
Not allowing the other person to err. Everyone makes mistakes. Grudges don’t get anyone anywhere.
- Cheating. This is self-explanatory. Just do the right thing and be faithful.
- Lying. You know lying is a problem when you start to realize that you can’t trust what someone tells you because they lie so much. If your partner is important you should just be honest and trustworthy.
- Lack of compassion and empathy. Without compassion and empathy, your partner has nothing stopping them from doing and saying things that are intentionally harmful to you.
Ready to release the toxicity out of your life? Let’s talk about next steps in your consultation.